My name is JW. But, to most people, I am Who?
Hu is actually my mother's maiden name, and the answer to my credit card security question.
I just want to reassure everyone that I am invited here tonight.
I grew up in China. Who didn't? And my childhood memories are ruined by my childhood.
Like all immigrants, I too want my son to be the President.
My son says, "Dad, why do I have to learn 2 languages?" I say, "Son, because, when you become President, you'll have to sign legislative policies in English, and talk to debt collectors in Chinese."
Obama was conducting 2 wars when he was awarded the Nobel Peace P. And he accepted it. You can't be more badass than that. The only way you could be more badass is if you took the Nobel P P money and gave it to the military.
I was born in the year of the Horse and that is why I am a naysayer.
America's #1, because we won the World Series every year.
I have a quick solution for global warming. I will switch from Fahrenheit to Celsius.
I believe open dialogue and unilateralism are too expensive. So, if elected, I will switch to text messaging. I will text our allies even to say Hi. And I will text our enemies when they are driving.
On Ellen :
Are you guys afraid of the economy? I'm not. I grew up young, you see. If I become poor again, I'll just feel young.
To become a citizen I had to answer some questions :
Who was Benjamin Franklin? Uhhh... the reason our convenience store gets robbed.
What is the 2nd amendment? Uhh... the reason our convenience store gets robbed.
What is Row vs Wade? Uhh... 2 ways of coming to the United States.
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