Reagan's Soviet Jokes

In the USSR, it takes 10 years to get a car and you have to pay in advance and only 1 in 7 families have autos. One guy gets his $ together and goes to the place to order one and the guy says okay, come back in 10 years to pick up your car. The guy says "Morning or afternoon?". The guy behind the counter says, "10 years from now what difference does it make?" The buyer says, "The plumber's coming in the morning."

An American and a Russian are arguing about which system is better. The A says I have great freedom - I can walk into the Oval O and pound the desk and say, Mr. President I don't like the way you're running this country. The Russian says I can do that. The American is stunned. You can?
Yes, I can walk into the Kremlin, into the General Secretary's office, pound the desk and say, "Mr. G. Secretary, I don't like the way Reagan's running his country."

In the USSR, only 1 in 7 families own automobiles and most of them are owned by bureaucrats - the government issues them autos. At one point, they decide on a zero tolerance policy towards speeding. Anyone, regardless of rank, would get a ticket for speeding. One day, Gorbachev is late for his meeting, he tells his driver, you get in the back, I'll drive today. The pass 2 motorcycle cops and one of them chases him. Ten minutes later, he's back and his buddy says "Did you give him a t?" "No, too important." "What? You're supposed to give anyone speeding a ticket." "I know, but this guy was too important." "Really? Who was it?" I couldn't recognize him, but his driver was Gorbachev.

A guy loses his parrot and he reports it to the KGB. The KGB says, "Well, you lost ya parrot, why botha us? Why not go to your local police department?". Thy guy says, "I just want you to know that I don't agree with a single thing my parrot says."

Three dogs - American, Polish and Russian are talking about which country is the best. The A dog says "In our place, you bark long enough and sure enough, someone will give you a piece of meat." The Polish dog says, "What's 'meat'?" Then the R dog says, "What's 'bark'?"

A soldier calls out to a man. The man doesn't stop. The soldier shoots him. His fellow soldier says, "what did you do that for?" "Curfew." "But it's not curfew yet." "True, but that guy's a friend of mine. I know where he he lives and he wouldn't have made it."