Self-Control Do's and Don'ts by the Ultralearner Scott Young

James Clear : Every action you take is a vote for the kind of person you want to become.

DON’T :

Avoid these three self-control strategies:

• suppressing thoughts about temptations

     • if you suppress thoughts then they’ll come back stronger than before (in ironic rebound)

• resisting temptations

    • this takes a lot of effort and it’s ineffective

• training self-control as a muscle

     • there’s little transfer between different self-control tasks

     • you need to develop a complex skill set to master self-control

BELIEFS :

Watch out for the “limited” mindset:

·        Your beliefs about how self-control works become a self-fulfilling prophecy

o   if you think your willpower is limited, you’ll feel depleted after exercising self-control

o   if you believe your willpower is unlimited, you’ll feel energized by self-control tasks

·        you can gradually change your beliefs to become more unlimited (thus strengthen your actual willpower) by adopting effortless self-control strategies described in the rest of this guide

 

AVOID EXERCISING WILLPOWER IF YOU CAN

• choose ‘want-to’ goals (for which you have intrinsic motivations) rather than ‘have-to’ goals (for which you have extrinsic motivations)

• if you can’t choose want-to goals, increase your want-to motivation for the thing you have to do

• find activities that promote your goals and which are enjoyable at the same time

• if you can’t find enjoyable goal-promoting activities,

• look for aspects within the activities you have to do which are immediately rewarding,

• use temptation bundling (pairing an activity you have to do with an indulgence),

• or decrease the value of indulgence with commitment contracts (agreeing to incur costs if you fail – Eg. Donation to a group you dislike)

• be careful not to self-reward with indulgence and don’t rely on temptation bundling and commitment contracts onlyand team focused.

 

MANAGE SELF-CONTROL CONFLICTS

• broad-bracketing

• think of your choice (whether to indulge or not) not as a one-shot decision, but as a sequence of habitual decisions;

• always ask yourself: what will be the consequences if I indulge every time?

• psychological connectedness (use self-awareness to manage your sense of belonging – it helps!)

    • realize that in the future you likely won’t change much – you’ll

be equally tempted to indulge as you’re now and you won’t have

more willpower or resources to deal with temptations than you

have now

    • ask yourself – what would my older self ask me to do better now?

• adjusting your identity

    • identify yourself with the self-image of a strong-willed person

    • choose your identity based on your goals – if you want to become a runner, start thinking like one

Use Self-Affirmations!

 

DECISION MAKING

• whenever making an important decision, get yourself into a high-level (=abstract) construal by asking yourself a series of ‘why’ questions

    • for instance, if you want to lose weight, ask yourself: Why do I want to lose weight?

    • if your answer is ‘to be more attractive’, turn it into another ‘why’ question: Why do I want to be attractive?

    • Do this until you’ve connected to your deepest values (because it gives me great joy, because I deeply value my life, etc.)

• whenever you need to plan how to achieve your goals, you need to get into a low-level (=concrete) construal

• if you have a tendency for harsh self-criticism, practice mindful construal

Practice Mindfulness Regularly!

MANAGE CRAVINGS

• when you’re consuming food, alcohol or cigarettes, remove all distractions

    • don’t watch TV or YouTube and don’t listen to music

    • don’t check social media

    • don’t speak on the phone or send messages

• use additional techniques to strengthen your consumption memory:

    • before eating, drinking and smoking, remind yourself how much you’ve already consumed on that day (with pictures taken of the previous meals/drinks/cigarettes)

    • discard food wrappers at the end of the day rather than straight after each meal, get rid of cigarette packs and bottles at the end of the week or month

• when you’re not consuming food, alcohol or cigarettes, distract yourself away from cravings by

    • visualization (=imagining pictures or scents)

    • visual noise

    • counting

    • smelling pleasant odors

LIFESTYLE

• for optimal self-control, avoid foods with high sugar content

• instead, maintain a stable level of glucose in your blood by eating foods with a low glycemic index

• take plenty of exercise – this will improve glucose and oxygen supply to your brain and boost the volume of your frontal lobes (which are responsible for self-control)

• to preserve and restore self-control, maintain regular sleep habits and take naps when you’re down on energy